This section of the website is dedicated to the eloquence, beauty, and sometimes the hilarity of the English language. This page is broken into three major headings:
My Words - Those of you who know me, know that I am a musician and have written and performed numerous songs of the Metal persuasion. Here you will find the verbal components of my musical visions.
Lyrics - These are lyrics to songs written by other people that I find particularly poignant, or perhaps just strike a chord with me, whether serious or humorous.
Quotes - These are just a series of quotes that I have heard that I have found interesting, funny, or steeped with wisdom.
"Adventure... Excitement... A Jedi Craves Not These Things." - Silent Bob
"Cleanliness is next to Equilibrium." - Blackboard in Petrology Lab
"If it is to be, it is up to me." - Motivational Adage
"Life's a journey, not a destination." - Aerosmith
"Eddie Guerrero, you look like what happened when Billy Ray Cyrus had sex with a retarded hyena!" - Duane "The Rock" Johnson
"I am that damn good." - HHH
"The main miscommunication between women and men stems from the fact that women expect men to know what they want, when the women themselves don't know what they want." - Matthew L. Whitaker
"Sometimes we carry more weight than we owe." - Candlebox
"Impressive Green One." - Ogre Toy in new Geico Commercial
"Life brings Hope and Pain. But Revenge never brings Redemption." - Connor McLeod
"I will meet you in the next life. I promise you." - Megadeth
"An epitaph is a belated advertisement for a line of goods that has been permanently discontinued." - Irwin S. Cobb
"So, what are you guys drilling for, like, Gold?" - Kendra J. Rooney (I didn't make this up, folks...)
"Oh my God! Hogan's doing the Bitchtits Twitch!!!" - Yours Truly
"Yeah, give her some of that Klingon Rage, Baby!" - Once again, me.
"Ginger, NO!!!" - Conan O'Brien
"You know, Eric used to do that too. Shave his head, grow it out, shave it again. I could never figure out why he did that. Why am I referring to him in the past tense? I should stop that. He exists." - Danielle Nest
Nick D. - "But, what is H on the periodic table?"
Matt W. - "Hydrogen, you f*cking dirtbag!"
Nick D. - "Oh."
(Laughter ensues)
Nick D. - "Hydrogen's not a real element anyway."
NOTE - Nick D. has been doing geochemical research for going on a year now. Scare anyone else?
Nick D. - "It had that Howe Caverns, cross twinner... thing..."
Matt W. - "That would be Carlsbad Twinning, numbnuts."
Nick D. - "Oh."
Sensing a trend???
"You best recognize. Quit drinkin' that Haterade!" - Theodore Long
"So Majestic, yet so Wicked Awesome!" - Strong Bad
"The more you love your parents, the more it proves their Satanic power." - Some Priest Guy on an HBO Special
"I now ask my God to manifest the glory of Jesus Christ into YOUR FACE!!!" - Same dude again...
"There just aren't enough O's in Smooth to describe how smooth I am. Maybe you've seen my picture. It's in the dictionary under Kablam!" - Weird Al
"A One which is not cold is scarcely a One at all." - Strong Bad
MatthewLWhitaker: Poopslut
ONLY ONE CANNOLI: youre the p00p master
MatthewLWhitaker: I try
MatthewLWhitaker: Harlot
ONLY ONE CANNOLI: i cant sit down and make alpha bits and greek symbols when i crap
ONLY ONE CANNOLI: heh
MatthewLWhitaker: What can I say? It's a gift.
ONLY ONE CANNOLI: and if that doesnt go on your quotes page, i will burn all your research